The Tween Confidence Collapse
In our rapidly changing world, tween and teen girls are feeling the pressure.
Fueled by social media and expectations to be perfect, girls experience a severe confidence shortage starting at the young age of 8. This was confirmed in a poll conducted by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, authors of The Confidence Code. They discovered that girls’ confidence levels dramatically drop as they enter their teenage years.
Source: The Confidence Code for Girls
It’s a bit of a paradox – girls and women are achieving more than ever, particularly in academics and sport, yet anxiety rates among young girls are skyrocketing.
Often driven by biology and cultural messages to value perfection and avoid risks, plus a flood of estrogen which heightens emotional intelligence, girls are more cautious, less likely to try new things, and lean towards avoiding failure. These messages are often reinforced by parents and society.
As girls reach their tween years, their emotional intelligence grows, allowing them to better read the emotional landscapes in their daily lives. They become more cautious, more observant and can anticipate consequences, making them want to stay in their comfort zone and resist opportunities to try new things.
Reversing the Collapse
There's a strong connection between risk taking and confidence. Experiencing struggle and failure and then recovering from it builds confidence.
Parents can encourage their daughters to try new things and take responsible risks. And when they fail? Curb the impulse to jump in and fix it for them. We, as parents, can also model the behaviours we expect from our daughters. By admitting to our own faults and mistakes, we can show them how to rebound.
Other ways to build confidence:
- Increase healthy risks and failure in daily life
- Promote the process and recovery of failure
- Encourage stepping out of their comfort zone
- Let them try hard things and mess up!
By also demonstrating what we want valued, such as kindness, inclusiveness, and integrity, we can work as a community to transform our girls into independent, confident teens and women.
We've gathered a list of fun, family-friendly activities to do in Calgary this Spring and Summer to build confidence and promote responsible risk-taking!
BE ADVENTUROUS!
Downhill Karting at Winsport
This fast-paced family activity will put your child’s sense of adventure to the test! The karts are a wheeled gravity ride that provides riders full control over their speed. Children can also ride in tandem with an adult. CHECK IT OUT >>
Blackshale Creek Suspension Bridge
Enjoy the great outdoors with this easy 6km hike in Peter Lougheed Provincial Park. This hidden gem boasts sweeping valley views as you cross the 73m long suspension bridge that is perched 30m above Blackshale Creek. Just don't look down....or do! LEARN MORE >>
Rent a Canoe from the Calgary Canoe Club
You’ll forget you’re in the city while exploring the beauty of the Glenmore Reservoir as it snakes through Weaselhead flats. Canoe rentals are available to the public on a first come first served basis at the Calgary Canoe Club (PFDs are included). RENT A CANOE >>
PROMOTE INDEPENDENCE!
Build a Fire
Being near risky elements such as fire provides tremendous value for children learning responsible risk. Work with your child to build a campfire and resist the urge to “do it all for them.” Don’t have a firepit at home? City of Calgary Parks have numerous walk-in or bookable picnic sites with firepits. FIREPITS IN CALGARY >>
Start a Lemonade Stand
This summer tradition is an excellent teaching tool! From problem solving to teamwork, step back and allow your child the freedom to independently create their business. Print off the RJL Business Plan for your child to understand the entrepreneurial planning process! DOWNLOAD BUSINESS PLAN >>
DIY Woodworking Project
Children love to build but using tools often makes parents nervous. By working 1:1 and creating clear safety rules and boundaries, children can benefit immensely from this type of risky play. Need materials? This Canadian company sells woodworking kits for kids! GET A KIT >>
LEARN SOMETHING NEW!
Learning makes us feel good! We love the idea of experiencing new cultures in our own backyard which models inclusiveness and diversity to our children. There are many family-friendly cultural festivals and events in Calgary this spring and summer.
Check some of them out here: Chinese New Year - Celebrations, Ethnik Festival of Arts and Culture, Franco Winterfest, JazzYYC, Calgary Ukrainian Festival, Mexifest, Fiestaval Latino
We are not affiliated, associated, authorized, endorsed by, or in any way officially connected with any of the organizations or companies listed here.
Sources:
The Confidence Collapse and Why It Matters for the Next Gen. The Confidence Code for Girls. (2018). Retrieved July 2022. From https://static1.squarespace.com/static/588b93f6bf629a6bec7a3bd2/t/5ac39193562fa73cd8a07a89/1522766258986/The+Confidence+Code+for+Girls+x+Ypulse.pdf
Girls' confidence plummets starting at age 8: Here's how to keep her confidence strong. A Mighty Girl. (2021, September 12). Retrieved July 2022, from https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=27408